


for lovers who hesitate

by otherthingsonhold



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Post-Canon, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, but also what canon?, post-canon but without the death, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23803024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otherthingsonhold/pseuds/otherthingsonhold
Summary: “I’m sorry I kissed you,” he lies.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	for lovers who hesitate

“I’m sorry I kissed you,” he lies. He’s not sure of the apology that falls from his mouth, maybe it was to save himself from the looming embarrassment or that he wanted to clear his conscience. Either way, he knows he means it. With his cheeks blooming red and his eyes not being able to look anywhere except the eroded grass they stand on. It was however, most obvious to her that it was a lie. 

From the corner of his eye, he watches her push herself off the ground and walk closer to him, her smile is soft and – maybe it’s just him hoping – forgiving. 

“Does that mean I win?” her smile is sweet. Not exactly mischievous, but a little cheekier than pure joy. The flyaway hairs that usually framed the side her cheeks now stuck to her skin, her white clothes now drenched into grey. Her face painted a bright red as she tried to hide her exhaustion behind her smile. 

He laughs. She loves it when he laughs.

He had pinned her down after a move she didn’t see coming. She charged at him, saber swinging at full force. But he had a trick he wanted to try out. Quickly he used the force to pull the saber right out of her fingers. The surprise took her aback, the force of the saber flying out of her hand caused her to trip forward and almost topple over. But before she met the ground, he tackled and flipped her over him, pinning her to the soil. 

They both panted, trying to grasp as much air as they could. The practice had gone longer than usual; the sun was setting behind them. His forearm lightly over her chest, just under her neck, locking her in his grasp. She was at his disposal now, too tired to snake her arms under and push him off, too amazed to want to even try. 

“Hold onto your saber tighter.”

She nodded, “I will.” 

They stayed in the position for a little longer than was probably normally, trying to catch their breath, trying to figure out the feelings that hung between them.

It’s Rey who opened her mouth, or at least she tried. When she finally found the words she felt were worth breaking the much welcomed tension that engulfed them, she instead found herself wide eyed in shock. 

He had kissed her.

Sudden and sweet, she found herself slowly closing her eyes and echoing his lips. They moved in the perfect tandem she had missed since they had last kissed on Exegol. This time it was he that took charge, letting her lips follow him in the pursuit for acceptance. For reciprocity. For love. 

His arm slowly moved across her chest and down by her side, parallel to her waist. His hand hovering over her skin, almost too scared to touch her. He holds himself up, trying desperately not to press himself against her as they continued to fall deeper into their kiss.

This is far further than anything he has ever done. 

The thought brings him back to the reality of it all. As if he had been jerked awake, he peeled himself off her as quick as her could, stepping a few steps away from her. As if he couldn’t handle himself around her, as his he was scared of her. 

“I’m sorry I kissed you,” he lies.

“Does that mean I win?” 

He laughs. She loves it when he laughs.

He’s looking straight at her now, no hiding coy behind the hair that falls in front of his face, but still just a few steps away from her. 

“I still win.” His deep voice booms, standing his ground. 

“Maybe I let you.” She announces, feigning that she does not jest in her voice. 

“Shall we call it a draw then?” he’s teasing her, knowing she would never accept a participation point. 

“I won’t accept your pity draw, Ben.” 

In their banter they find themselves close once again, she’s right up against him and he finds his hands instinctively wrap themselves around her waist. It takes a whole second for his shock to kick in.

She tilts her head up, resting her chin on his chest, looking right into his eyes as he echoes her movement and tilts his chin down to see her. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while now.” She confesses. Her expression both shy and confused. “I just… didn’t know how to ask.”

“Was it a mistake?” his brows furrowed. Should he have waited for her to ask him first? Rey shakes her head, her laugh soft and almost silent. 

“No. Ben-” she searches for his eyes, letting him know just how happy she is. She grins from ear to ear. “I loved it.”

Slowly the worry starts to fade from his features and a smile starts to grow. He can’t seem to contain his joy, feeling it bubble up instead up and come out as a hearty laugh. 

“Are you happy, Rey?” he quietly questions her as his laughter dies down and he pulls her in just a little bit closer to him. His right hand moves to her cheek, cradling her face. His left, gently pushing back the strands of hair that have stuck to her forehead.

“Do I not seem it?” 

His face is soft as he reassures her, “I just want to make sure you are.”

She slowly nods, resting her cheek upon his chest, hiding her face from his line of sight. “Can we do that again?” 

“What?”

“Kiss” 

His face is stoic, years of pent up non-violent emotions have served him well. He swallows hard, his mouth going dry at the thought of her wanting more of him. All of him. 

“I was scared you wouldn’t want to.” He lifts her chin up to face him, both their eyes wide with hope. “But I hoped you would.”

“I want to.”

It’s not that he thought that she would decline him. Their force bond told him that she felt deeply for him, and that he felt the same or maybe even more. But how deep that ran, he could never be sure without asking her. They had never talked about it, or even hinted at it. Except for the kiss back at Exegol, he was scared that was just in the heat of the moment. 

But he took the risk, he had to. He was never a man who knew how to use this words, actions were always there to doing the talking for him. His pain was showcased through his anger, and his anger through his erratic violence. Though now he is without it, what once both fuelled his viciousness and impaired his focus no longer clouded his thoughts. Now it was her, just her, and all the goodness that she is. 

“Stay with me tonight” he whispered in her ear, his sudden braver seemed to have yet to cease today. “I want to kiss you again.”

Her face once again burned red, a shiver rushed down her spine and into his hands that were on her waist again. 

“Okay.” She whispers back. “But Ben …”

He hums in back question.

“Don’t apologise this time.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt I got from an anon over at tumblr. Thank you to that anon cause I ended up writing quite a bit. Thank you for reading and I hope you all stay safe and healthy :) 
> 
> Also I did not proofread this because lazy. Sorry!
> 
> Chat to me on tumblr (same username) if you feel like talking reylo or sending over some prompts!


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